Hello there

Hi,

I thought I should start with a little introduction. As you can probably tell, I’m terribly new at this and have written and rewritten this about 8 times.

It all came to a head last Friday. I’d been drinking in the garden with the girls the night before, topping up their glasses to insure we all drank quickly. After the left I decided to have a couple of espresso martinis downstairs on my own. This resulted in horrific sickness before bed and in the morning. Unfortunately that morning I was due to take my baby and 7 year old step daughter (who doesn’t miss a thing), to a farm. I hated every single moment due to the uncontrollable sickness, the sweats, banging head. I was a state. This is not the mother I ever imagined I’d be. And it needs to stop

I’m 36 years old, with a baby under 1 and I’m starting to realise I might have a problem with alcohol. Well, scrap that. I’ve known for a while. I’ve competitively watched as a friend tops up our wine, hoping, just a little, that my glass have more. I suffer from social media beer fear, where I have to obsessively check each social media platform to ensure any comments written the night before, don’t reveal how sozzled I was. I’ve actively planned friendship catch ups around alcohol and broken down in front of my long suffering hubby after nights out over insignificant things.

So here I find myself on a Friday night typing into the vast internet, to take my mind off my gin cupboard, wondering if anyone’s out there. I’ve always kept a diary but I’m nervous about sharing my thoughts. But I’m hoping to find solidarity, inspiration and to hold myself accountable. To stop my life sipping away.

Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

20 thoughts on “Hello there

      1. I remember pouring a glass of vodka at like 3p just because and having this same moment of “wait” and “I don’t like feeling like this”. Do you read Glennon Doyle Melton? If not, you should for sure

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      2. No, I’ll look it up though thanks. I was secretly pouring a shot of coffee liquor for myself every time I made espresso martinis and having at least 2 glasses of wine every night when home schooling my step daughter. I knew it was escalating and like you had that unnerving feeling. So glad I’m not the only one

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      1. God I just don’t know, for me it’s always something different, some reason why I convince myself it’s ok to have one drink…feel much better and believe things weren’t that bad to start with, I was being dramatic…I advise reading back from post 1 in your diary here if you feel like that!!

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  1. Hi – we sound so very much alike, down to the blended family. Parenting with a hangover is the worst. Way too many times I’ve spend the day feeling like shit, physically and emotionally, only to drink again that evening just to have a bit of relief from my own thoughts, beating myself up. I’ve been reading “quit lit” and blogs for almost a year probably, we tried twice to do a dry month and failed, deciding it was not worth it for that short of time. Right now I am committed to going dry until at least next summer, starting in a month. I don’t like it, I wish I could drink with no consequence, but that seems impossible so a good long dry spell is necessary to figure this out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hiya Sober Veg Mama,

      Thanks so much for reaching out. I love reading other peoples blogs too. It’s so hard isn’t it? I love a glass of vino or a cool bottle of beer. We’ve just got to our first holiday in the lakes after a horror of a journey and I’m trying so hard to be strong. Brought some tonic water and going to pretend it has gin in it 😂. Let’s cheer each other on? Let me know when you start I’m on day 15 of 100 days xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Have you signed up for the 100 day challenge from the Tired of Thinking About Drinking blog? I know many people have found her free advice helpful, she was a drinker similar to us and gave it up years ago.

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      2. p.s. if you need additional motivation to stay sober on holiday, at least for the first night (one day at a time!) I just wrote about this last night…. nearly wrecked my own weekend away :-/

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  2. Good luck with your sober journey, it’s great that you are doing this now, in your thirties because the booze would just continue to tighten it’s grip as the years go by. I like to look upon us as innovators – one day alcohol won’t be the socially accepted drug that it is now – we are the pioneers, leading the way to an AF future. Go gently, and thank you for your blog 😊

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