Day 28 – and so it continues

Theres something quite relaxing about the light slipping away. The pink hues turning to inky blues.

I had a lovely evening last night, sitting in bed chatting to other bloggers on here, swapping stories and reading my book with a tonic water. BB slept through the night and when they woke up at 5am for their milk, I felt well rested.

I got up properly after their feed and showered. I wanted to make myself look nice for when the husband got home. To be honest I dont know why I bothered, he came home in a right grump.

I know we didn’t leave on the best of terms but I thought it was all sorted by Saturday evening. Clearly not, he’d taken offense to a message I’d sent this morning. We discussed it in hushed tones when I called his attitude out. He thought I was making a dig in a message, when I actually wasn’t. He apologised, but now I know this sounds pathetic I’m upset he would think I would make a dig. And so the cycle continues. We only argue like this when my step daughter is here.

I also told him how I was struggling as a step parent, that I loved my step daughter but it was really hard. He just replied I know. I don’t think he does. I explained about the hot chocolate and how it wasnt probably his intention but it’s how he made me feel and he still doesn’t get it. Head meet wall.

Why is marriage so so hard. And to throw in the mix blended families. I love my husband dearly, he is a lovely, kind, gorgeous man but blips like this hurt so much. I take BB for a walk so I can cry with my sunglasses on whilst singing nursery rhymes.

When I make comments like BB really missed their daddy, he’d reply with no they missed their sister more. To everything I said. BB would love a cuddle with Daddy, no they’d prefer one with their sister. Normally I’d be reaching for a glass bottle of wine now. It’s after midday on a sunday so that used to be ok. Part of the “rules” was not before midday on the weekends.

I’m probably being over sensitive. I’m stripped of my usual social anesthetic and due on, the worst combination.

BBs due her afternoon nap in a minute and I’m going to practice self care. Today this involves pretending to nap in our bedroom whilst reading blogs and the Sober Diarys (which I absolutely love).

Hope this gets easier soon.

Hope you all are having a lovely weekend whatever you’re doing

Love

Venty, wound up, JS



Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

15 thoughts on “Day 28 – and so it continues

  1. Oh, this sounds so hard, and am sending support! Hiding away reading sober stuff (personally, I would add a bag or two of licorice!) sounds exactly right. Tomorrow will likely be better. Your husband probably just needs a little time to calm down, too. Hugs!🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m pretty good. I’m not looking forward to starting work tomorrow after vacation, but I’m pretty happy to be sober today. Just hanging out with my family, going for a walk later. I hope things are better for you at home now.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s tough. People only see the best in their kids…it never changes.

    Marriage is hard, especially with a baby. Things get so different. Keep taking care of yourself. Think about the things that make you happy. How can you add more of that to your life?

    Staying sober will help you do that. You won’t regret this.

    Anne

    Like

    1. Thank you (again 😊). It is so hard, but normally worth it. I’m thinking of trying to find some wild swimming to get out with nature a little. And you’re right about therapy. I’ve never regretted a session I’ve done. How have you been?

      Like

      1. I am very good. I need to write a post updating my life! Things are so nice. The summer has been good for us, spending so much more time in the house!

        I have still not dated, and have no plans. I often think I couldn’t date anyone with younger kids. So many additional complications. But then many of my friends have remarried over the years and they love their step kids.

        I try to stay openminded.

        Like

  4. the step vibes thing makes a lot of sense. i have to remember sometimes that my husband has not done this before either. i also have to remember there is no one right way to do any of this. that the kids and i will find our own unique relationship and that, even, is a surprise. oh – and that the sex is good. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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