Day 29 – Advice and thunderstorms

My step daughter has headed back to her mothers for a week and the house feels calm. I could almost feel my shoulders drop from relief when the door shut behind her (well actually she left it wide open but you get the gist). She’d wet the bed overnight and I felt so sorry for her. She said she’d called us in the night, but I think she was too embarrassed to wake us. I tried to do her hair extra nice and didnt mention the bed wetting.

I’m reading the sober diaries and absolutely loving it. It’s like the author has crawled into my head and spilled my thoughts across the page so eloquently. I took her advice and did some tidying today, emptying 2 drawers and chucking a load away. I enjoyed reflecting on the memories of some of the items, a long forgotten once a favourite nail varnish, from my single days, a bracelet I made by the Mekong river in Vietnam with my lovely Canadian friend. It was a happy peaceful hour spent whilst BB slept.

I went for a walk tonight with my running friend and spilled my guts, guilt and resentment falling out my mouth. She was lovely and listened, like really listened, without judgement. Then when I’d finished she offered some brilliant advice. (I’ve tried to remember and retell it as much as possible, but what she said was even better than this):

“In 5 years time your landscape will have changed. BB and your step daughter will have grown up a little. Your SD wont want to spend as much time with you as she’ll be nearly a teenager. She’ll want to hang with friends, be independent.

These 5 years will pass so fast, so try where possible to enjoy them. When you look back, you’ll reflect mostly fondly and you’ll wish they were little again.

You and your husband are good together. You both really love each other. What’s important that you nuture your marriage. Like really nurture. In 5, 10, 20 years you will want your husband by your side. Try and remember that, let go of resentments and enjoy both children together.” (I’m really not doing this speech justice).

After she said this it started thundering and the rain began to fall. It was literally perfect, I felt I was in some sort of film. The rain was on my face, cleansing it and I felt calm.

I went home drenched and hugged my husband hard.

I hope you’re all having good Mondays. I’d be interested to hear if you’ve recieved any good advice recently (and don’t mind sharing it).

Love

JS (Ps I’m perfectly happy to rent my friend out if anyone needs advice)

Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

5 thoughts on “Day 29 – Advice and thunderstorms

  1. Wonderful advice. Nothing is as certain as change and we spend a lot of time thinking things will be better when ….
    I wish I could go back 5 years and talk to my younger self to make me appreciate what I had then. But that said, my โ€˜selfโ€™, five years on is likely wishing she could tell the present me to be grateful and savour the now because in another five years it will have all changed again. Sounds like you had a good day xxx

    Like

  2. It’s great advice, just so hard to follow when you are in the middle of parenting little kids. But now that mine are away from me, not by choice, I’m missing every little thing, even their nonstop whining and talking, so so much. But I am going to try and make the best of this time and not wallow – finding a space to organize definitely helps me feel better too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Must be so hard, I literally read your post with my mouth wide open. Cant believe how selfish some people are. You’re so strong, cant imagine being away from BB for that amount of time

      Like

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