Day 54 – Sunflowers

I decided to bring a bit of brightness to my day today when another grey, bland day raised its head. So I brought some flowers to cheer myself up and I love them.

I’ve also had a lovely day (well afternoon) with my SD. Her mum and I had been unsuccessfully attempting to gently cajole her into cutting her bum length, extremely thick hair. A normal morning would involve 10 minutes of trying to brush the knots out of her hair whilst she stood there being a normal kid and moaning. The evenings were even worse especially on the nights we had to wash her hair, with tears (from all of us), her mum or me standing in a hot steamy bathroom attempting to tame her wet knotty hair and my SD understandably getting more and more impatient.

Her mum text me 2 days ago basically saying we’ve got to do something as the situation is becoming unmanageable, especially with her returning to school. I agree and say I’ll have a think.

My SD comes home from school yesterday and we begin to watch Malory Towers, she loves Darrell one of the lead girls. I comment whilst we both watch, that with shorter hair she’d look like Darrell. I see the thought sink in.

A bit later over tea we’re discussing a poorly child in her school and how the poor little girl has lost her hair due to her chemotherapy treatment. I mention that you can donate your hair to make wigs for poorly children like that.

At bed time she asks for me to tuck her in which is the first time in forever. I sit on her bed and talk about her day. She asks to donate her hair to the childrens wig charity and it makes my heart swell. There’s my adorable SD lurking underneath the eye rolls. I tell her I see what I can do.

I text her mum and she agrees we should jump on this opportunity. I’m lucky that my hairdressers has a space after 4:30 today.

So I surprise her by picking her up from school today and together we go to her first grown up hair appointment. I love sharing this excitement with her. The hairdresser is lovely and really chats to her about her day, praising the brave thing she’s doing. At the end her hair looks just like Darrels and I can tell my SD is thrilled to bits to have chosen her hair and have some grown up time. She also enjoys the fuss.

As we leave, my hairdresser produces a box of chocolates for her and I want to cry. We go home, where my husband makes a fuss of us both and we share fish and chips.

I look at the sunflowers and think the grey days turned golden. I didnt need alcohol to chase that feeling.



Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

19 thoughts on “Day 54 – Sunflowers

  1. That is such an amazing thing to do!! It’s so great you and SD can bond like that… the bedtimes, the snuggles. Mine is nearly ten and just such a distant and unaffectionate kid it’s very hard to bond…. especially for me who is outgoing and shares my emotions with anyone who will listen haha.

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  2. Thanks, I’m lucky as I’ve been in her life since she was 3 and I think they’re more accepting th younger they are. And I completely get it, I’m exactly the same with my feelings. Her mums very reserved and then there’s me the complete opposite πŸ˜‚. I’m just so relieved to have a lovely day with her, it’s been such a struggle recently. It’s like my old SD’s back. It’s so disheartening when they are distant

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  3. Omg this is the loveliest story ever. You have such a special relationship. I’m so glad you persevered with her and I really believe that being sober has helped you to bring her back to you. This made me so happy to read. It really is beautiful. Xxx

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      1. The attitude and eye rolls come with the territory and it upsets me daily with my eldest. But those moments when you see them as they were and also a hint of the lovely adults they will be are to be cherished. That doesn’t help when I get given the finger behind my back though πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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      2. I don’t. I completely lost the plot and I ended up in tears and going for a very long walk. I did get a text from him telling me he loved me and then an apology but I was apoplectic with rage! It’s been ok. Fairly quiet and I’m really tired all the time. Hope you are ok xx

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      3. I’d be exactly the same if not worse. I wonder if it’s your body unwinding from all the anxiety. Ok here, been in bed since 20:15 oh how Saturdays have really changed πŸ˜‚ xxx

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      4. The past two evenings I was in bed at 7pm and 5.30 pm …. what’s that about? I do love knowing that on a Sunday I’m not going to feel rubbish all day and just wait until I can have a drink to feel better again. Xx


      5. The amount of times Sunday dinner was due for 5pm and ended up being 8 or 9pm with food left in fridge and microwave πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ™ˆ. I lost track of time when pissed! Yep, I did need a rest. I think you are right, the stress of the past month just caught up with me. Xx

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  4. This is wonderful! What an amazing step mum you are! It’s great you and her mum can work together like this too – warmed my heart and I’m glad she rewarded you with her better self – makes the bad times worth it! πŸ’žπŸ’ž

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