Today we (and when I say we I mean me and BB), went to our first baby class since lock down. I’ve been so excited about getting out again and mixing with other mummys and babies.
We get there in plenty of time and settle in on our mat next to (well 2 meters away) from another mum. She’s so lovely and smiley that we spark up a conversation whilst our babies wave at each other.
At the end we stand on the car park chatting about how hard it’s been being a new mum, how your identity changes and how lockdown has magnified all of this. I ask if she fancies a coffee. She says she would love one and off we go to the local cafe and chat over cups of tea. It’s what I’ve always dreamt of as a new mum, but it’s one of the first time it’s happened. After we swap numbers and agree to meet for a picnic on Monday.
I know this sounds ridiculous but I’m so excited I’ve made a potential new mum friend. It feels almost like dating, trying to find another mum you connect with. It’s been really hard and quite isolating during lock down and all my nct friends are returning to work in the next few weeks.
I also excited as because it’s a mum friend the friendship with revolve around BB and not going out and wine which is the sort of friendship I need right now. I’ve got 2 meals coming up with friends (if we dont go into local lockdown) and I’ve been really fretting over being out around alcohol. I find seeing my old drinking friends or/and going out to restaurants really triggering although I know I need to stand strong and face up to these triggers.
So that’s me today. How’s everyones Tuesdays going?
Love
JS x
I’m so happy for you! I had a lot of trouble finding other mom friends after I had my baby. It took a while, for sure. Enjoy! 😁
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It’s so hard to find some one to gel with isn’t it. I’ve met plenty of lovely mums but only properly gelled with one or two
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Mom friends are so important! Especially ones who are supportive of you being your best self. Glad you are finding them! 🙂
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Thanks Collette. It’s been so hard with covid too make many, but fingers crossed there will be more in the future xx
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I found going out with my old drinking buddies who are also my besties and have been for over 30 years really hard at first – I tend to see them in smaller groups for walks or coffee now and that works – Covid has helped in that respect as no big gatherings anyway! You’ll find a way that works for you and which relationships are about more than drinking together. This reminded me of meeting a friend at baby massage with my 1st girl 25 years ago! We’re still friends and she’s not a drinker! 💞💞
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That’s amazing that you’re still friends. That’s what I’m hoping for. And your right about doing different activities and covid. Last night I went for a walk with one of my drinking buddies and it was lovely. How are you getting on xx
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Smoked a little at the weekend but a lot less than usual and none all week – starting to sleep better so that’s helping and not missing it anywhere near as much as I thought I would. Hoping to do a clean weekend! Xx
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It’s not ridiculous, it’s totally like dating, so many people say so! Except the presence of kids makes it easier to break the ice and ask someone out, HA! I find it interesting that restaurants are open yet you may be close to going into lockdown? Also strange…. that phrases like lockdown and quarantine are part of our normal vocab these days :-/////
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I know crazy right. If you’d said at my wedding nearly a year ago, all these people important to you you won’t see for most of the year I’d have thought you were mad. Yet here we are. I know it’s crazy. They’re blaming the young population but then last month were encouraging them to go back to pubs and restaurants for discounted food. And definitely about dating, I’m already planning my cool mum outfit to wear and wondering what to do with my hair instead of the 3 days old mum bun 😂😂
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Finding a new friend with the same experience, babies, is wonderful!
I too, found going out with old drinking buddies hard. So I just met them for coffee or lunch as well.
xo
Wendy
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That’s what I’ve been doing and went for a walk last night with one. I sort of feel I need to face my fears but at the same time what to run and hide from it all xx
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I remember those days making mom friends so well! You describe the feeling perfectly. Excited for you! Being out around other people drinking (particularly at restaurants) is tricky for me, too, but it seems to be somewhat getting easier each time. You are doing great!
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Thanks so much sober nova, I know I’ve just got to do it and it will come easier over time. I’ve done it once already but that’s with a friend that knows everything so was a little easier. One of the meals is with my big drinking friend so that will be the test xx
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Enjoy this time. It’s lovely.
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Thanks Anne, hope you’re well?xx
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I had the same with my first but I found a group of friends eventually and I’m still really close with two of them. Nursery and school also bring many new people into your life. My best friend is a lady I met when our boys were 3yrs … 12 yrs ago now! We were drinking buddies but now we have a cuppa and go for walks. I rely a lot of AF drinks when I am anxious about going out with drinking friends. It really helps get past that trigger. Xxx
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AF drinks is a good shout. I might try and research ahead to get hold of the mocktail menu xxx
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Yep. Have nice drinks so you don’t feel so deprived xxx
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