Today I went for afternoon tea. But not any old afternoon tea, oh no, afternoon tea with my husbands ex wife. (Yes you read it right).
To celebrate my step daughter donating her hair for charity, her mum booked this as a lovely surprise for her to say well done. Then kindly invited me to it.
Beforehand I was incredibly nervous. Like how weird is it to go for afternoon tea with your husbands ex? Every fiber of my body was telling me very. The only reason telling me to do it was for my SD, to show a united front and build relationships. Show that mummy and I got on.
I surprised her in the car park and her face was worth the 500 outfit changes and extra 10 minutes of make up. I was greeted with a big hug from my SD and her mum gave me a big smile too.
We went through into the hotel and the afternoon tea was incredible. My SD behaviour unfortunately wasn’t so incredible, but it was reassuring to see that she used the same behaviour she uses on me, on her mum too. It was also interesting to see her response which was to ignore it as it escalated and escalated. It ended in my SD running round the (empty) restaurant bare foot and I kid you not eating with her foot on the table and her pants on show. I bit my tongue as she was on her mums watch, but when she pretended to be a dog under the table and started licking my legs I told her it was a good thing her daddy wasn’t here in a light hearted way and she stopped.
The ex obviously looked super slim and stylish and was lovely an pleasant to me. She opened up about why the marriage in her eyes broke down (his mother, who is to be honest absolutely vile) and why she had the affair.
I left feeling like I had been in some sort of twilight zone. Where had the last 90 minutes gone. What the hell had happened to me. It’s weird because I actually quite like his ex. I don’t entirely trust her, I feel like I maybe being used as a pawn in a higher level game. But I’m glad I went and it was nice to connect with her.
My poor hubby is completely suspicious of every move she makes which I completely understand. I think if you’ve been burned by someone you loved so much you will always be ultra cautious. I know shes wriggled out of financial and childcare stuff (attempting to get out of both at times) in the past so I think he’s right to.
So this is my blended family. I’m so pleased I’ve given up, normally faced with something/one over whelming I’d have had a few drinks before hand to settle my nerves. It felt good to go in with a clear head. It felt even better to go and treat myself (well BB) to a new dress for her birthday.