I’m such a geek, I love planning surprises for people. I get so much more pleasure planning than I do receiving gifts myself.
So it’s our first wedding anniversary tomorrow and I’d excitedly planned a treasure hunt for my hubby and my stepdaughter to complete today, starting when they got back from a walk.
As soon as they returned it started, with my SD excitedly running round the house, with a bemused husband in her wake. Every other clue or so, I left a nespresso pod for him so he had something to look forward to at the end. I thought it was the little things to keep him motivated.
They get to the final clue and there’s an envelope for my step daughter and a small box for my husband. He goes first. It’s a wedding ring, me and his daughter designed. We’d had to sneak to the jewelry designers a few times and we both had really enjoyed sharing the process designing it for him (we hadn’t bothered with proper bands a year ago as we had won our wedding, I was 8 months pregnant so we decided to wait).
He opens the gift and is seriously off with me, frowning but saying thanks. I’m heartbroken, trying to put on a brave face infront of my step daughter.
She opens the card and solves the riddle inside that we’re getting a cat tomorrow. She’s super excited and runs off to start arranging her room so the cat will want to sleep with her.
I’m a big believer in confronting things head on and not letting things simmer. So I ask my husband why was he upset with the gift.
He tells me he doesn’t need a band to feel married. That in his previous marriage he had been made to wear a ring and in the end it had been a meaningless symbol. He doesn’t want to be made to wear a ring in this marriage.
I’m crushed. One that I could get it so so wrong on our anniversary and two that I hoped he would look at the ring with fondness that his wife and daughter had designed it especially for him. I’m also niggled that the ghosts from marriage past can tint a moment.
I explain this and then make my excuses to check something upstairs and go up for a cry (I can be very dramatic).
I’m sorting out the washing in our bedroom when I hear the door open and his arms wrap around me. We both apologise. He says he’s thought about the meaning behind the gift, his daughter being excited about being involved and us planning a surprise for him and the intent it was given in. I tell him he doesn’t need to wear the stupid ring and we hug it out.
I feel like it’s been a massive learning curve with my husband as a person. I would have loved a gift/jewelry designed by BB and him and I should’ve put more thought into what he would have liked. I’ve got him a writing book as he’s determined to write a childrens book and I’m giving it to him tomorrow on the actual day. Hopefully this will be better recieved.
Oh and obviously he knows me really well. I got fluffy socks which I love and a book I’ve been lusting over forever. I’m touched.
Have you ever got it so wrong with a gift before?