Day 70 – Treasure Hunt

I’m such a geek, I love planning surprises for people. I get so much more pleasure planning than I do receiving gifts myself.

So it’s our first wedding anniversary tomorrow and I’d excitedly planned a treasure hunt for my hubby and my stepdaughter to complete today, starting when they got back from a walk.

As soon as they returned it started, with my SD excitedly running round the house, with a bemused husband in her wake. Every other clue or so, I left a nespresso pod for him so he had something to look forward to at the end. I thought it was the little things to keep him motivated.

They get to the final clue and there’s an envelope for my step daughter and a small box for my husband. He goes first. It’s a wedding ring, me and his daughter designed. We’d had to sneak to the jewelry designers a few times and we both had really enjoyed sharing the process designing it for him (we hadn’t bothered with proper bands a year ago as we had won our wedding, I was 8 months pregnant so we decided to wait).

He opens the gift and is seriously off with me, frowning but saying thanks. I’m heartbroken, trying to put on a brave face infront of my step daughter.

She opens the card and solves the riddle inside that we’re getting a cat tomorrow. She’s super excited and runs off to start arranging her room so the cat will want to sleep with her.

I’m a big believer in confronting things head on and not letting things simmer. So I ask my husband why was he upset with the gift.

He tells me he doesn’t need a band to feel married. That in his previous marriage he had been made to wear a ring and in the end it had been a meaningless symbol. He doesn’t want to be made to wear a ring in this marriage.

I’m crushed. One that I could get it so so wrong on our anniversary and two that I hoped he would look at the ring with fondness that his wife and daughter had designed it especially for him. I’m also niggled that the ghosts from marriage past can tint a moment.

I explain this and then make my excuses to check something upstairs and go up for a cry (I can be very dramatic).

I’m sorting out the washing in our bedroom when I hear the door open and his arms wrap around me. We both apologise. He says he’s thought about the meaning behind the gift, his daughter being excited about being involved and us planning a surprise for him and the intent it was given in. I tell him he doesn’t need to wear the stupid ring and we hug it out.

I feel like it’s been a massive learning curve with my husband as a person. I would have loved a gift/jewelry designed by BB and him and I should’ve put more thought into what he would have liked. I’ve got him a writing book as he’s determined to write a childrens book and I’m giving it to him tomorrow on the actual day. Hopefully this will be better recieved.

Oh and obviously he knows me really well. I got fluffy socks which I love and a book I’ve been lusting over forever. I’m touched.

Have you ever got it so wrong with a gift before?

Love

JS x

Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

17 thoughts on “Day 70 – Treasure Hunt

  1. Yes! I got C a racing car experience for Xmas a few years ago as he’s really into the Grand Prix – (I hate it and I’ve tried to watch it but can’t!) I was so excited to see his face and he was completely underwhelmed, never went and did it and when I asked him about it he said – I’m just not the kind of person who’d do that kind of thing and had felt hurt that I didn’t realise that about him – I’d been so sure of myself it was hard to take – glad you made up and that he saw the spirit you gave it in 💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry.
    I can only say the divorce has long lasting scars.
    I expect he feels badly. Give him space to like the ring. Once he sees past the old memories he will realize it is a symbol of a new start.

    What a lovely gift. And I especially like your clue!

    Happy anniversary,
    Anne

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think that’s an amazing gift and so thoughtful. I guess things in our past are hard to let go of sometimes. You aren’t dramatic btw. I think crying is a very normal reaction. I just bought a bike for my husband, seeing hand, superb deal and off someone we know. Really lovely bike. I told him I bought it for his birthday which is in a month or so but he can have it to use now. He basically said he didn’t want it. He’s seen it now and I can tell he Likes it but he won’t admit it or thank me. That says more about him than me though so I’m not going to fester (much). Happy anniversary for tomorrow. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah bless you. I know, he makes me fester too 😡. I’m starting to ‘wake up’ to some long standing behaviours that I have accepted and shouldn’t have. Lots of work to be done moving forward I think my friend. I will email you xxx 😘

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think what you did was so sweet! That’s a very thoughtful gift. I would have cried too. Hopefully he’ll let go of the pain of the love gone bad from his past and embrace this love anew. But we can’t control other people. I have a hard time buying present for my DH. We get most everything online so in order to be secretive I have to really go out of my way. And then wonder if he will like the gift anyway! We’ve returned a couple. Lol. It’s the thought that counts!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I was crushed just reading your post. I would have cried, too. That was a very lovely gift. I’m so glad he came to apologize after and is wearing it now. I get how people can be so affected by past hurts and knee-jerk react in a hurtful way, but I’m sorry you had that experience. Hugs! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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