Day 76 – Bashful

I feel slightly bashful of my meltdown yesterday. I think the question just hit a nerve and I spent the evening half watching car share whilst examining my reaction and what it meant.

I think I’m hyper sensitive to anything atm as I’m working myself up about my forthcoming heart procedure and also desperately wondering whether we should have another one. So that one message sent me in a bit of a spin and brought it all to the surface. Thank you for all the lovely, kind, generous comments. I was really touched that you reached out thank you

Today we went to a national trust property with BB and spent a pleasant morning wandering round the grounds. She loves being out doors and looked super cute in her little hat. We stopped for lunch outdoors and then headed back.

Whilst BB napped I met my SD and her mum at the stables and helped her with a lesson. Her mum walked her dog whilst I spent some one on one time with her. It’s lovely sharing a project. I’ve got so much nervous energy it felt good to get out. I also cut my grass and the neighbours.

I read a quote in the happiness project, “what ever love you feel in your heart for others, they will only see it in your actions”. So I’m trying to channel the nervous energy into doing nice actions. I’ve made my husband coffee and left him to read a book whilst I tidied up the garden and I’ve text a few friends to see how they are.

Dexter is still being slightly hard work. He is the most gorgeous goofball of a lovebug, but we are still experiencing issues around his toilet habits. We have worked out he’s got slight diarrhoea, which is causing the issue and there have been lots of little accidents. So we’re following the PDSA advice and hoping it will help him. We have another vet check on Tuesday too and will hopefully get some more advice.

So that’s everything today. How are you all?

Love

JS x

Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

8 thoughts on “Day 76 – Bashful

  1. I don’t think your reaction yesterday was strange, both pregnancy and not drinking are sensitive personal subjects, especially after your friend knew your background! Regarding having another… that is so tough…. it’s hard not to imagine your future, but try to concentrate on one thing at a time. Your surgery. Finishing your 100 days. Deciding to do another 100. Seeing how much your health improves. Then maybe the answer will be more clear. Besides in my opinion (being a little later in the child years and seeing so many people go through this!) – being hugely pregnant and having a child under 2 who still needs lots of physical help… is really difficult! Mine are 3.75 years apart and I thought that was perfect spacing. I’m happy hubs was fixed before I met him, otherwise it would be a hard choice not to have another…. my biological brain wants one, my rational one does not really. Sort of like drinking brain and rational brain, HAHA.

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    1. Haha that’s so true I never thought of that. My biological brain would love one, my rational brain says we’re happy, healthy and already have BB and my SD who are both perfect. Its so hard to take one step at a time, altho it makes perfect sense. How you getting on xx

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  2. You absolutely do not need to feel bashful. Your reaction was 100% understandable. I think it’s interesting though how sobriety allows us to reflect on what triggered the mood or the emotion and we can come through it and learn something positive. That sort of thing would happen to me when drinking and my reactions were crazy and I’d usually do or say something I seriously regretted the following day. I agree with SVM … you have time to consider another. Don’t rush it. Lots to manage right now so be kind to yourself. You deserve a bit of self love! Xxx

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      1. It’s good reflection though isn’t it? My previous reflection used to be just about guilt, remorse, beating myself up. I mean I do still do that on occasions πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ but it’s easier to pull myself out of that and think about the whys and triggers in a more detached way. 76 days too …
        that is amazing πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ’•

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