I can’t believe I’m at day 80 already. It only feels like yesterday I was trying not to puke, with a hangover down a childrens farm. Cursing myself for feeling so poorly and trying to blot out the whole experience from my mind as I went through the mummy motions.
I’m so proud that I’ve got to 80 days and cant believe how much has happened already. As the happiness project says “the days are long but the years are short”. I feel already this is true with sobriety.
If I hadn’t decided to go sober in my friends lovely countryside garden 80 days ago, I’d have never got into swimming again. I’d have never experienced the cold water rush of an early morning sunday, or the buzz of swimming 100 lengths by 7am on a Wednesday morning.
I’d have never swam last night.
Last night was one of the most amazing experiences of this year (I mean there wasn’t much competition with covid). I drove over the country roads, chasing the full moon until I got to the lake. I met my sister there (we decided to go in separate cars due to the virus).
We walked up a path lit by fairy lights and to the lakefront. We were given 4 glow sticks and a group of around 25 were safety briefed before we got in the water 1 by 1.
The water was freezing, but refreshing and exhilarating. It felt like all the anxiety of the last few weeks were being washed away and I swam in the light of the moon, admiring the inky blues of the sky and water. Everyone was lit up by the glow sticks and it was slightly surreal seeing it all.
My sister (who is on day 79 today) chatted about sobriety and in more detail about her relationship and her job. It was lovely nattering with her, we never get to spend any 1 on 1 time together and I cherished it.
I drove home, mouthful of cake, so thankful to be alive, really alive, not just going through the motions. I crept into a quiet, sleeping house. Checked on BB and after a hot shower, snuggled in to bed with Dexter and the husband. I felt so lucky.
Today marks the first day of isolation. It’s also the first day BB has started really clapping her hands. Every time she hears a song she claps delightedly and its adorable. I’ve cooked and prepped for tomorrow and wracking my brains on how to entertain BB whilst staying inside with rubbish weather. Any ideas welcome.
Roll on day 81.