Day 95 – Park Date

Day 95 was mostly spent outside in the glorious sunshine of a cold crisp winter/autumnal day.

We’ve been kindly given a hand me down trike which BB used for the first time today and loved it. After walking round the block 3 times she screamed when it was time to come off.

After lunch we managed to get out again and meet one of her lovely little friends for a swing date. Both girls loved it, it felt like their smiles were lighting up the whole park.

Then home and after nap time I took BB out on the trike again.

So all in all a lovely day outside with people. I’ve really enjoyed it, makes me feel so much calmer.

I think with my husband feeling so shitty, I’ve been feeling so incredibly anxious like I’m walking a tight rope. I’m trying to help him and I feel stuck inbetween giving him some space and giving him lots of cuddles. I’ve asked him how to help but he just shrugs and says he doesnt know. Then he’ll sneak up behind me and give me a squeeze.

My step daughters coming tomorrow and I think that’s also adding to the anxiety. From what I understand (and I’m trying to keep out of it), she actually hasn’t isolated that well and her mum has been taken her to her partners. Her partner is then looking after his 3 children who are also in bubbles at their school. And so the loop continues. I just hate the thought of the extra risk although I know it’s not my step daughters fault.

It doesnt matter how much precaution I take, I cant control who her mum mixes her with and the school bubble too. For a control freak (me about covid and BB) it creates so much anxiety in side its unreal.

I also never know what side of my step daughter am I going to get. Will it be the sweet, loving SD, who wants to bake with me and be silly or the grumpy 7 year old going on 13 with a ton of sass, eye rolls and attitude. That also gives me anxiety.

So close to 100 days.


JS xx

Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

17 thoughts on “Day 95 – Park Date

  1. You know I can relate to the anxiety of not knowing how much risk the other parent is taking!! You need to say a meditation like “I must let go of what I cannot control. Deep breaths.” Does your husband have much sway with her, like will she discuss and agree on boundaries with him?
    So close to 100 days!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right. My husband used to be the primary carer whilst she chased her career. Now its 50/50. Every boundary she tries to test, so clubs in the parenting agreement have got to be agreed. But she’ll just do it anyway and manipulate a situation. We were meant to pick my SD up from her home where she’s been isolating today. But they’re not there so she will drop her. She’s obviously never wrong and always acts like she’s in the right and on higher ground. She’s infuriating. Oops sorry for my rant.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly. Parenting agreements mean shit unless you’re willing to go back to court and fight it. I think the best we can do is ask for the boundaries we want, in a very neutral, non confrontational way, and be ready to accept it if the ex doesn’t comply. And OMG it just started snowing here. Wow, big fat flakes…. guess no walk this morning! Maybe turn on the fireplace and do some easy yoga with the kiddos…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a 7 year old girl too. Shared parenting, but she is my birth daughter. It’s a tough age! She’s very judgemental and defiant at times, while at the same time still being my snuggly and sweet baby, lol. It’s a journey. The important thing is you are sober! Proud of you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It can be so difficult to manage when we feel out of control and the virus just blows that up ten fold. Your SD will be mixing at school anyway so in a way her mixing with other kids in another household doesn’t make much difference. She’ll be in contact with many others who are in contact with different groups .. and so it goes on. Try to let go of that a little. The younger children are not affected in the majority of cases and therefore BB is likely at minimal risk. I don’t know if that helps any but I find challenging the negative thoughts I have when I feel out of control helps me reduce the anxiety. Keep letting Hubbie know you are there for him. It’s such a challenging time isn’t it? Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so challenging. I really feel for you working in a medical environment, potentially face to face with patients. Especially when it’s so close to the face. Thanks for the counter comments they’re really useful xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. To be fair, this week I have worked entirely from home and been in my own little bubble. It’s the boys in secondary school and my husband who is a teacher in secondary school who are out mixing more than me. I just stay in my back room with my guinea pigs and endless cups of coffee 😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Only 4 chocolates…. surely that means standards are slipping 😂. I made BB oaty raspberry flapjack things. I’ve then demonstrated how to eat them 😂😂🤦‍♀️. Back room with Guinea pigs sounds a ideal week xx

        Liked by 1 person

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