Day 106 – thank you

Thank you all so much for yesterday. After pressing send on writing it, I cried my eyes out and then went for a waddle to get some fresh air. It certainly helped.

I was blown away with everyones kindness and understanding. It’s the first time I’ve ever shared anything like this (well apart from my grey area drinking) and it’s been the hardest thing to admit by far. I cried again a couple of times through the evening, reading comments and having a conversation with my husband. It felt like I was relieving a load of pressure.

One person in particular reached out (big thanks Clairei47) and recommended a reputable counsellor. I’m booked in next week for my first session and I’m excited and hopeful that positive change will happen.

So far I’ve not binged today. I’ve had a healthy breakfast and lunch and a slice of cake a neighbour dropped over, which my step daughter had a piece too. I’ve constantly thought about food though and this is what I’d like to change. If it’s not alcohol I’m obsessing over, its binge eating. The counsellor and some of you have assured me this can happen so I dont feel so alone.

In other news, I took BB and my SD on a big Autumnal walk. The highlight was after my SD had just given me a ton of attitude, she unfortunately slipped and fell in foul smelling mud (think it was a cow pat). After helping her up and cleaning her up, the attitude has faded away and we’ve had a lovely day.

We’re currently watching a film with Dexter the cat curled up with us. BB is on her trike dragging her daddy round the block.

I can believe the difference a day makes. The amount of anxiety and turmoil I felt yesterday was unreal, today it is certainly dissipating.

So thank you for being so kind and supportive. I hope one day I can support you as much as you’ve supported me.

Also big shout to Sober Singer who is on Day 50. Her blog is ace if you’re looking for someone new to follow

Love

JS x