Day 124 – 4 months

So I reached 4 months yesterday and didn’t even realise until my sister text me to congratulate me (she reached 4 months today). I feel so proud that I’ve got here and thankful to the blog and you guys for all your support.

When she text I’d literally just seen this image on someone’s stories on Instagram. I thought it was apt so have borrowed it for this blog, as I think its important to remember.

Yesterday I was bone weary. I was going to a mamas baby club that provided lunch. I’d worried about eating a lunch out of my control for days before, like deep in my gut no sleep worry. But when the lunch came it was fine. It didn’t kick start a binge like I anticipated and I shared the slice of pizza with BB. She enjoyed her first taste of the cheesy good stuff and there starts her love affair with pizza.

After the lunch I felt like I’d ran a marathon. Everything ached, I was tired and weary. I think my body had been in fight or flight for so long that after the event it just turned to mush.

Today I’ve been tired but no where near as bad. I had my counselling and I’ve some how have progressed forward 2 steps on my own with out realising (food diary and meal planning/structured eating). I feel theres been a sort of light bulb moment, when I’m not structured or when I restrict that’s when I binge. Sounds so silly writing it down as it’s a bit obvious really, but now I recognise another tool that will help.

I have the next one booked for next week and I’ve got some visualisation home work to do before then which I’m sort of dreading but excited about.

In the mean time I’ll keep plodding. I’ve managed not to binge and still doing yoga every day. I’ve also been running a little bit which I’m enjoying. I feel like I’m starting to enter a more positive headspace and its definitely welcomed with open arms.

How is everyone in this lovely community doing?

Love

JS x