I think the universe likes to play funny tricks on us. Just as my scheduled eating was working for me, life threw a curve ball. I’d won a competition for a Autumnal treat box. Inside was lots of yummy treats.
This sent me into another anxiety driven spiral, until I managed to make a plan. I would enjoy the marshmallows at snack time and savour them. The honeycomb I’d give to my god father who has a sweet tooth. The popcorn I’d save for my step daughter and the fruit cake would be a nice treat for the hubster during his mid afternoon slump.
And that is what I’ve done. Once I made the plan, I enjoyed sharing it out and that feeling outweighed the guilt I’d feel scoffing it all.
When my god mum came to look after BB today as I had some work to do, i shared with her about my eating disorder. I was so nervous telling her and cried during the conversation but she was so lovely and supportive. She asked how long it had been happening for and when I told her she grabbed my hand and said she wish I’d told her sooner. I replied I didnt think I was ready to admit it to myself until recently. She’s said once I’m at a place where I’m happy whenever that will be, we will go out for a girls day and that felt lovely. I’m so lucky to have her as a surrogate mum (especially as my mum is so crumby).
In other news BB has just learnt to blow kisses and its adorable.
That’s it today, hope you’re all ok? I’m still doing yoga and have managed not to fully binge. Big congrats to Leafy for 100 days and Clairei47 for a whole year.
Lots of Love