I haven’t posted for a few days as I’ve been so stressed over this situation with the ex wife. And whilst round 1 might be over for now, I know there’s another fight looming in our future.
We found out yesterday, after all those threats, the manipulation that we were letting my SD down, the horrible emails and whatsap messages, that after all of that she didn’t pass the exam.
His ex wife informed us at hand over tersely then promptly slammed the door literally in our faces. I was pretty shocked by her behaviour. Although suddenly I can see where my SD gets her terrible bouts of attitude from.
I always try and treat her like I would if she was another professional I work with. Calm, polite and slightly humourous, so it only amplified her behaviour.
I felt awful for my SD, but so relieved it ended the financial discussions for now. I made her a hot chocolate, sat on the sofa and chatted about how she felt whilst looking through some photos we had had printed. She didnt seem disappointed, like the ex muttered at us, actually up beat. It was freeing to see her like this as she’s been rather quiet and withdrawn the last few weeks.
Today on the way home from the park, she told me she only wanted to go because her best friend was going. That mummy had told her she could try again next year if she wanted to be with her. I froze as her childcare agreement states we don’t have to discuss this again until she’s 11. So obviously her mum is deciding to ignore this part of it.
I asked her was her best friend the only reason she wanted to go. She said yes. So I said theres 3 classes in each year group, theres no guarantee that you’ll be with your best friend.
“Oh well I dont want to go, I want to stay at my current school with my friends”. I feel so sorry for her. It’s almost like her mum is pushing her own wishes and dreams for what her childhood was on her.
It’s made me more aware of my own dreams and desires for BB. Mainly I just want her to grow up happy and healthy, a well rounded good person. But deep down I’d love her to love the outdoors like me, like horses, open water swimming and to be curious about the world. I’ll have to ensure I dont push these on her to the point of pushing her away.
During the stressful last week, I’m so glad I’ve not drank. Its kept me even minded, open, fair. Drunk me would’ve responded to some of the stuff sent with bitterness and anger. Instead we have gone back level headed, offering alternative solutions. My husband called me his anchor and I felt so proud I was able to be this. Sobriety has given me this gift and I’m slowly unwrapping the paper.
And whilst I know further thunderstorms are forthcoming, I know sobriety will see me through them.
Love JS xx
Oh and I’m still replenishing, skin good, enjoying baths and yoga