Day 230 – Cravings be craving

Woke up on day 230 still craving. It wasn’t an every minute thing, like it used to be at the start. But it was there, whispering away to me.

I confessed to my long suffering husband. Who was brilliant. He got me outside for a big walk with BB. We all went to the ducks and swings. Then he encouraged me to get out again and walk with a friend.

So that’s what I did. I walked for 2 hours with a girl mate. We chatted about life, work, the kids and how both of us wanted to move house soon. We walked through woods and round some lakes.

It was beautiful and the fresh air made me feel alive. It was one of those fresh, sunny spring days, where you dont need a coat and the sun warms your body.

The voice was still whispering tho. Encouraging me to drink. It’s so frustrating.

When I got home, I was in tears to my husband. Why do I feel like this? Will it ever go?

We had cheesecake and home made curry for tea. With fake fizz. It was perfect. I got my fizzy hit and a sugar rush too. The voice has quietened for now.

In other news, in 24 hours I’ve been complimented about my skin twice. One friend said it was actually glowing and another friend said I looked fresh and asked about my skincare. So sobriety is working in small ways.

Happy sober Saturday. Fingers crossed the cravings lessen tomorrow

Love

JS x

Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

14 thoughts on “Day 230 – Cravings be craving

  1. I am not a good one for advice, I wish Anne from Ainsobriety was here. She is awesome at the inspirational nuggets and with 7 years it carries a lot of weight. But one thing is clear, it’s nice when our skin looks great. :)) One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at time… and take it easy, you’re being too hard on yourself, I think. :)) xoxox

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You did all the right things!
    It’s pretty normal to have those cravings, even after years.
    The good news is, they really do become whispers.
    Keep your eyes on the prize!
    Clear headed, clear eyed, clear thoughts, clear values!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I just love how you have your husband to lean on! You did everything so right on! It never gets easy for me. I was adopted and my adopted parents were told my birth mother had addictive tendencies. I really believe it’s in my DNA, but it’s a fight I’m not going to lose at. ❤️ I love how my skin is looking too! Great post!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. Its amazing how your skin changes isnt it. I agree there’s an addictive gene. I didn’t have much to do with my Dad, but he was from a big Irish family who all drank a great deal. My uncle died of a heart attack (drug related) and my dad died of liver cancer. Unrelated to me quitting, my sister has also quit as she recognised too that she may have an issue. It’s weird as we never spoke about it. Just randomly one day it was mentioned ♡

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That must be pretty cool to have a sister that has quit drinking too as she realized she may have an issue. ❤️ I have 3 non-biological brothers. All seem to have control over their drinking. They seem to drink on occasion or even just a Sat night and have no problem stopping at that. I haven’t opened up to anyone but my husband about my inability to manage drinking. I feel lucky to have him! 😍

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Your willingness to acknowledge and voice your cravings is awesome.
    I always find saying things out loud make them much less powerful.

    I often found my own intense desire to drink came as I left work on Friday. The anticipation of the release, the brightness, the wine.

    That was a hard thing to replace. But ever sober Saturday morning I snuggled in and was happy to not be hungover and that was enough.

    Have a good week!

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I can only comment from personal experiences and I believe going through periods of cravings like this is to be expected. At around 6 months, the horror of how alcohol made you once feel begins to fade (as everything does) … this is the time where it is most important to read back old posts, reflect on how miserable you once were and how delightful it was to discover life booze free. At this stage my belief that ‘it wasn’t so bad’ and that I could easily moderate now because I am not addicted any longer, kicked in. That is hard to fight but the more you do fight it and get realistic, the less likely you are to ‘risk’ going back to that place.

    Don’t get me wrong, I really can’t say I won’t ever drink alcohol again. I’ve always said ‘never say never’ right from day one. But I am protective of where I am now and I fear losing that. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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