Day 239 and I wanted to take a little moment to appreciate my beautiful baby (BB) on international womens day.
She is my reason for getting sober and working on self improvement so she can grow up being proud of her strong mother.
My friend who was furious I’d given up drinking is pregnant and we went for a walk recently. We were discussing motherhood and I said it felt like an evolution.
The silently to myself, I thought, I wish I’d been sober for the first 9 months of her life. I feel like so much time was wasted. I was a shell of a mother, focused on wine o’clock, me time, pouring myself my poison.
The conversation had moved on and my friend was talking about baby slings. She asked if I had one. I answered I did but for hiking and asked why. She stated she was buying on so she could take her baby to bars over the summer and sit outside with the baby in the sling drinking wine. I asked about breastfeeding (with no judgement, I didnt breastfeed BB) and she replied she wasnt planning to so she could drink.
I remember having the exact same thoughts and being completely embarrassed by them. However, my friend was happily discussing how would it be possible to have a glass of fizz at her shower.
It got me thinking, isn’t it mad? That alcohol is so entwined in our culture we would rather drink poison then provide our own special nourishment to our babies (I know this isnt in every case, I’m talking in regards to my friend and I). That we would happily take a baby out to a bar at their nap time for a few drinks one evening. That we would put poison in our bodies whilst carrying our children. This includes myself. This was me.
I’m really horrified by our culture, I feel like the rose tinted glasses are off and I can see it for what it is. I also know there’s no explaining it, it wouldn’t have worked with me. In fact I would have politely commented and inwardly sneered at the “goody two shoes” advising me.
So when mentioning women for IWD, my mention is my daughter. Thank you for providing the light, for saving me, educating me, being my purpose.
And thank you too, to all the lovely, supportive, non judgemental women out there on this blog. You all inspire, lift me up, encourage and are awesome. I am forever grateful.