Day 239 – Happy International Women’s day

Day 239 and I wanted to take a little moment to appreciate my beautiful baby (BB) on international womens day.

She is my reason for getting sober and working on self improvement so she can grow up being proud of her strong mother.

My friend who was furious I’d given up drinking is pregnant and we went for a walk recently. We were discussing motherhood and I said it felt like an evolution.

The silently to myself, I thought, I wish I’d been sober for the first 9 months of her life. I feel like so much time was wasted. I was a shell of a mother, focused on wine o’clock, me time, pouring myself my poison.

The conversation had moved on and my friend was talking about baby slings. She asked if I had one. I answered I did but for hiking and asked why. She stated she was buying on so she could take her baby to bars over the summer and sit outside with the baby in the sling drinking wine. I asked about breastfeeding (with no judgement, I didnt breastfeed BB) and she replied she wasnt planning to so she could drink.

I remember having the exact same thoughts and being completely embarrassed by them. However, my friend was happily discussing how would it be possible to have a glass of fizz at her shower.

It got me thinking, isn’t it mad? That alcohol is so entwined in our culture we would rather drink poison then provide our own special nourishment to our babies (I know this isnt in every case, I’m talking in regards to my friend and I). That we would happily take a baby out to a bar at their nap time for a few drinks one evening. That we would put poison in our bodies whilst carrying our children. This includes myself. This was me.

I’m really horrified by our culture, I feel like the rose tinted glasses are off and I can see it for what it is. I also know there’s no explaining it, it wouldn’t have worked with me. In fact I would have politely commented and inwardly sneered at the “goody two shoes” advising me.

So when mentioning women for IWD, my mention is my daughter. Thank you for providing the light, for saving me, educating me, being my purpose.

And thank you too, to all the lovely, supportive, non judgemental women out there on this blog. You all inspire, lift me up, encourage and are awesome. I am forever grateful.

Love

JS

Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

14 thoughts on “Day 239 – Happy International Women’s day

      1. I am grateful to have met you too! So happy you are enjoying your sobriety, it’s such a gift and I don’t think I would be writing without it ❤️

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  1. I drank until my kids were older. Some years were fine. Eventually it got worse as the kids got older.

    I breastfed baby 1 for 18 months. It seems almost bizarre to me in hindsight. None of that was planned, but I loved the connection. Plus, once I got the hang of it it was so easy. I can’t believe that baby will be 18 in may…

    Your eyes are open. Alcohol is a serious issue in our society.

    Happy IWD,

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Anne, I bet it feels like times flown so fast. I’m gutted I missed out on such a special experience. It was due to a range of issues but my addiction at the time was involved. Thank you for being such an incredible support. ♡♡

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      1. I only breastfed Cleo for about 3 months. She was a sickly baby, RSV and then unending problems.
        I switched to formula to minimize allergens and it was much better all around. I also wanted /needed to drink more then.

        She is a perfect almost 16 years old. Whatever it takes to keep them alive!

        Lol

        Liked by 1 person

  2. i don’t know how i would have managed . I didn’t start drinking until my kids were much older , out of the house and even had their own kids. I often sat down though when i was drinking and thanked the heavens i wasn’t doing it when they were small because i would have been a total mess, and they would likely have been taken away from me.I watch some of my friends who still drink and have young kids and pray for them.many are as you describe above. I feel like i want to say something but i know exactly how it would be received..So glad you are out of the cycle and are blessed with a beautiful child that now you can spend much more quality time with.hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy IWD, a day late! 😁 Kids really change us in so many positive ways! I feel more “whole” after having kids. I really miss those younger/toddler ages! I work for a set of grandparents who take care of their 9 year old granddaughter and just turned 2 year old grandson. The 2 year old just loves when I come. He is a spark of fun I love to see! He cracked me up last time as he was super hyper and wouldn’t nap. I think everything he does is cute! 😍 I’m excited for you to be enjoying BB so much! Keep looking forward and have an awesome day!

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  4. Belated Happy IWD to you too! I drank and breastfed until around 9 months for both and remember sitting with friends, beers on the table, babies on the breast – I cringe now when I think of it but I wasn’t drinking like the end game then (trying to reassure self!) and thankfully my girls are both fine. I drank my way through their childhood even though I was also focused on giving them a better childhood than I had experienced – bizarre I didn’t make the connection for so long – I always thought my drinking was different somehow from my mums because my life wasn’t outwardly a car crash! You have gifted BB a wonderful thing by getting sober now – don’t regret the 9 months – celebrate the now and the future – it’s hard when we see the alcohol culture for what it is and hear others we care about still blinded by it but that’s why we need on here! Sorry for long reply! Love and hugs! 💞💞😘😘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Love the long reply. I pretty much gave up breastfeeding to drink and my first birthday as a mum disappeared for the weekend to drink with friends leaving BB and the hubby at home. I cringe so badly now, I was so selfish. Thanks for all your support on this long journey, its comments like that that really help. Hope you’re ok xxx

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