I’m still standing (just). After vowing to never eat another bite of chocolate on saturday night, I’ve had some every day. Some days I’ve binged. Some days I’ve had just a little. I’ve decided to park it for now and enjoy Easter. I’ll let future me deal with this.
It’s been warm and sunny here (apart from today). BB and I have visited our favourite National Trust so she can scream “ducks” loudly whilst chasing them and shoving their bread in her mouth. Its adorable to watch, but apparently I’m the worst mummy in the world for not letting her throw herself off a bridge and into the water after them.
The nice weather has made me wistfully dream of having a gin in the sunshine. I keep reminding myself how out of control I felt and visualise how I used to hide in the kitchen having secret sips. Its working for now.
My step daughter came home from school yesterday with a cough, temperature and cold. Her mum had fed her full of calpol (to reduce the temperature) and sent her in that morning and not mentioned it to us. Apparently my SD felt so poorly on Tuesday night she slept on the sofa in her mums office whilst her mum worked as she wanted to be close to her mum. She’s ended up over tired as she didnt sleep well on the sofa and woke in the night when her mum had left and didnt know where she was.
I had to cancel my work today and my god mum (who’s in my bubble and was going to watch BB) to take her for a test. To say I was disappointed in her mums behaviour is an understatement. I also feel desperately sorry for my SD wanting to be close to her mum whilst she’s left on a sofa in the office whilst her mum works into the evening.
After coming back from the test centre the 3 of us have made brownies together (both enjoyed licking the bowl out the most). Thankfully her result came back in 3 hours as negative.
My husband is doing my head in. I feel like we’re really disjointed and not connected at the moment. We talk about things that annoy each other and I feel like I’m trying to do everything to remember to stop doing the stuff that irks him. But no effort is being made on his part the other way. I also feel like I can’t raise it as last time he exploded at me and silently sulked for days. Walking on eggshells comes to mind.
So that’s where I am today. Currently watching an Easter film with the SD whilst BB naps.
Hope everyone else is well?