These are 2 Facebook statuses from my account 7 years ago. The worst thing is, there were so many “hilarious” night outs and injuries, I cant even remember what night the status relates to.
I wish I could tell 7 year ago self, that being sober is the best way I’d ever feel. That these days I’m the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been in my skin, mixed with the most comfortable and I’m finally having an authentic relationship with myself. That when going sober I’d feel alive, vulnerable yet confident and excited for life.
This weekend I went to my first “big” sober event. It was 6 of us at a baby shower. 4 drinking heavily then the mother to be and myself. I only knew the mum to be and 1 other person. I was really nervous about attending.
Would I be bored not drinking? What would I talk about? How would I quell this rising anxiety inside me? What would I say if someone asked about my sobriety.
It turned out to be a lovely (but freezing) afternoon. Because I wasnt focused on how much drink I could bring with me, I remembered a couple of blankets to share out and a hot water bottle. Because I wasn’t focused on drinking as much as possible as quick as possible I had some lovely conversations I actually remembered. I spoke to one of the attendees about a triathlon as I knew she was training and another lovely girl about her experiences of being newly vegan.
When the newly vegan tried to top up my nosecco with fizz, I smiled put my hand over my glass and said “oh no thanks I don’t drink”. She asked loads of questions, but was so lovely about it. She said she really really wanted to go sober and kept trying it for a month or two but then went back to it. It was lovely chatting about the benefits we both had found and I felt strong instead of the weirdo not drinking.
9 months rolled round yesterday and I didnt even notice. My sister text me saying congratulations and my nest friend remembered in the evening. I was touched by both.
I was thinking about the next big milestone, 12 months. I’m actually signed up for my first half marathon in a long time the weekend I turn sober. It’s cross country over moorland and there’s a bit I can wild swim at after. My best friend and I are meeting there to run together and then have a nice evening together after not seeing each other since before covid. She lives down south and I live in the midlands.
Apart from having BB and my hubby at the finish line I can’t think of a better way to celebrate.
In other news BB is no longer my beautiful baby, she’s 18 months she’s now a terrible toddler. Oh and I had my first jab Sunday.
How is everyone? Sorry if I’ve missed any posts.