Day 291 – Catching up

It feels like it’s been an age since I’ve been on, yet at the same time life has passed by really fast.

We’ve been doing our normal day to day stuff, national trusting, walks, slides, stories and I’m still loving it. I can’t believe in less than 16 weeks this precious time will be over. My heart hurts thinking about it.

A few developments. It turns out my SD has been stirring the pot at her mums and making up stories. Apparently I’m pregnant, we’re moving to the country and getting a dog (I mean these are my deepest darkest dreams, but definitely not happening). We’ve also apparently told her, her mum is making us spend all our money on her so there’s nothing for Emma and that her mum has lots of money (this made me laugh as is true but we’ve never said it to her). On the other hand apparently we are really poor. I mean we’re not flush with cash, but we have a home, a warm bed, clothes and food in our fridge.

Her mum was surprisingly good natured about it, but it’s made me more conscious of what we discuss in front of her and how it could be stirred.

I survived my first proper drinking party on Saturday. The pressure and anxiety i felt was absolutely overwhelming. What made it worse was it was a gin party (my old favourite drink) and with people who are my husbands friends and were best friends with the ex wife.

Once I got there it was absolutely fine. I found being sober helped me remember their children’s names, ask thoughtful questions and generally not make a tit out of myself. I woke up in the morning with out a hangover (unlike the hubby), feeling proud and even more assured this is the right path for me.

Today I’ve been to a baby class and my old close friend was there. We fell out about 7 years ago. She was getting married, successful, beautiful home and I’d just left my partner, was sleeping on my mums couch with a drink problem. To be honest, I was jealous and I didnt behave as well as I could’ve. She could’ve behaved better also, but I definitely had a bigger part to play.

I felt awkward the whole way through the class and when we caught eyes I smiled (with a bloody mask on). She blanked me. I’m now at home on the couch and I’m mulling over whether to message her and apologise for all those years ago. I know she holds grudges and would tell everyone I had messaged. This would make me feel even worse. I’m not looking for a friend back so my husband is saying just leave it.

However, I could have handled myself better and been a more supportive friend on the lead up to her wedding. We havent spoken since her wedding day. No big fall out, just a parting of ways.

So that’s me today. I’m going to catch up on everyones blog posts. I hope you’re all ok.

love

JS X

Published by lifesippingaway

36 years old, wife, stay at home mum, outdoors lover, wild swimmer, starting the journey to an AF life

16 thoughts on “Day 291 – Catching up

  1. Fantastic job on the party!! That scenario would have been very hard for me! And your friend issue is hard. I think that if you feel like you should apologize, then go ahead and do it unless you think it would somehow make things worse. I wrote a long letter once to apologize to a friend I had wronged many years ago, and I’m glad I did. 🤗

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  2. Hi, been wondering where you were! Nice job on the drinks party, you are so strong.
    I would agree with the husband, if you are not looking to have this friend back in your life just leave it. I completely understand the urge to reach out, I have almost a compulsion to do it with people from my past and I do have a handful of those types of friends where I wonder what happened and want more information. But maybe sometimes it’s better left in the past.

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  3. Hey you! I know I’m the same, the anxiety is so crazy before an event like that but once I get there, I’m just fine. Great job!
    My husband would give the same advice concerning your old friend. It’s a complicated situation to reach out or not! On another note-so glad SD’s mom took the news well about her fibbing sometimes. That’s a relief! How is BB doing? Still having those cute tantrums? Hehehehehe! Great to hear from ya!

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    1. I think the SM might be also stirring too. Like she’s taking her fib and then adding a new dimension on it, which is why she was being nice. She’s not been friendly since 😂. I dont think I’m going to reach out, I just hate having “bad blood” with people. I’d rather just shake and move on. But I guess not everyones the same.
      BB is still an absolute diva 😂 she lay on the floor earlier for about 5 minutes screaming, bc I’d told her no (was hitting the table with a toy). It was so loud the hubby came down to check up on her 😂. Hows the handsome grey and your gorgeous two girls ♡

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      1. That is so funny that BB laid on the floor screaming for 5 mins due to you saying no. Cracks me up. 😂 Gray is doing good. Still moving slow but the weather has brought back some of his personality. He’s such a kind old man! 😍 Girls are doing great! Can’t believe college is out mid May! Time sure does fly! Right now hubby is snoring so loud, holy Hannah. 🙉🤣

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  4. I missed you!
    Here’s my take on the friend….is it possible she didn’t recognize you?
    If you liked her and think you may have a future, I would text and say I got so nice to see you. Life has changes so much over the years and I miss you. Could we have coffee?

    If she says no, whatever. If she says yes, maybe you have a friend with a little to hang out with.

    It’s always hard to know what things go bad, but it never hurts to be the one to try again.

    Sorry about the SM, but it does show that kids often “full in the blanks” if they know a little. It isn’t even lying, it can be what they really think. That said, she shouldn’t need to keep secrets, so perhaps it is notice that you shouldn’t discuss SM or money around SD.

    I’m glad to hear your sobriety is working well for you. I was never a gin drinker, but I just found a couple g & t mock tails that are actually kind of interesting….in a very bitter, gin way. You might find some good alternatives!

    Keep in touch! I was to hear it all!

    Take care,
    Anne

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Anne, it’s so lovely to hear from you. I dont think I’d want to reconnect with her, more clear the air. So I think I’m going to leave it.
      And you’re right about my SD. It’s just hard as I’ve had to check myself in a few times over the last 2 days when talking. Just incase I’m saying anything that could be misconstrued.
      How are you? How are the kids and the lovely animals? I hope you’re well ♡♡♡

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We are all well.
        I’m enjoying the New Guinea pigs. They are a bit stinky, but cute and they add to my daily routine. I’m hoping the begin to trust me! They are so scared! Lol

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  5. Time has likely passed by now and the decision is no longer burning in your brain. I think by waiting you make your own judgement eventually. When I smoothed things over with my ex-friend it wasn’t very much an ‘on the spot’ decision where we were both in the supermarket and I decided to try and clear the air. We won’t be friends again and I’m ok with that but we are not hating each other or scared to cross paths now. I’m not good in awkward situations so I’d rather just bury the hatchet and at least pretend things are ok in public. That said, had I not done it when I saw her, I don’t think I would message. Much easier to be ignored. If she blanked you then she is not yet mature enough to move on. Nothing lost and no point you worrying yourself about it. Mistakes are made. We have to let them go sometimes. Xxx

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    1. Oh, and SD is a darling isn’t she? She clearly likes to listen into the ‘adult’ chats and create some drama. To be fair, most kids her age do it. 😆😆

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