Day 204 – hello February

New month. I can’t wait. I already feel tons better than I did end of December. The yoga is becoming a daily habit and my early mornings are starting to feel sacred to my mental wellbeing for the rest of the day. I’m also learning to adapt. This morning BB woke up at the sameContinue reading “Day 204 – hello February”

Day 200 – The list

Today mark’s 200 days in my sobriety journey. To be honest I can’t believe its come round so fast. The first 100 days stretched so long, especially the first 30 to 40 days. Then the last 200 have flown by. Ive decided to do a list. A 40 things before I’m 40 list, to makeContinue reading “Day 200 – The list”

Day 196- The Golden Hours

Whilst every hour is 60 minutes (unless you’re working a god awful job then every hour feels like a 1,000), there are some hours that are golden. I was lucky enough to have not one but two today. My daughter (BB) is 15 months and struggling with her teeth terribly at the moment. When itContinue reading “Day 196- The Golden Hours”

Day 195 – Snow Fun

Last night after my Friday night bath, I came down to see the front garden covered in snow. It was gorgeous. We excitedly got my SD out of bed (an echo to my childhood of when it snowed). We bundled her into warm clothes with her pjs underneath and head outside. We sledged, snowball foughtContinue reading “Day 195 – Snow Fun”

Day 193 – And breathe

I haven’t posted for a few days as I’ve been so stressed over this situation with the ex wife. And whilst round 1 might be over for now, I know there’s another fight looming in our future. We found out yesterday, after all those threats, the manipulation that we were letting my SD down, theContinue reading “Day 193 – And breathe”

Day 189 – When the sh*t hits

The grenade went off last night when my husband emailed his ex wife regarding the private school she is hell bent on sending my step daughter to. She is wishing to break the court ordered financial agreement and contribute less towards childcare due to her funding the school. She also by default wants us toContinue reading “Day 189 – When the sh*t hits”

Day 188 – Alcohol Nightmares

I’ve just woken up all clammy with my heart racing. Last night in my dream I drank. I was sitting in a made up city bar by a window with a collection of people. I was dressed up, confident, glass of crisp, cool, white wine in hand. I remember taking a sip and then thinkingContinue reading “Day 188 – Alcohol Nightmares”

Day 184 – 6 months sober

For 6 months I’ve lived authentically (or at the very least that’s what its felt like). I chose not to drink alcohol any more after a terrible trip to a childrens farm with a hangover (think the stench of cows combined with the hangover heaves). However, I still continued to drink for the next 2Continue reading “Day 184 – 6 months sober”

Day 182 – Walks

Today I made time to escape the house and do a big walk with a friend over the fields by us. The husband is in a mood as he’s currently sword fighting his ex wife over her wishes to send their daughter to private school and the implications and added cost to ourselves (she’ll payContinue reading “Day 182 – Walks”

Day 180 – Beauty

In these cold, snowy, sober days I’m still managing to find beauty in everything. I’m trying (and sometimes failing) to let go of stress around home schooling my SD, trying to study myself and parent my beautiful baby. I’ve found being sober, not sobering. I’m still laughing more, getting up early to do my yogaContinue reading “Day 180 – Beauty”