Day 189 – When the sh*t hits

The grenade went off last night when my husband emailed his ex wife regarding the private school she is hell bent on sending my step daughter to. She is wishing to break the court ordered financial agreement and contribute less towards childcare due to her funding the school. She also by default wants us toContinue reading “Day 189 – When the sh*t hits”

Day 188 – Alcohol Nightmares

I’ve just woken up all clammy with my heart racing. Last night in my dream I drank. I was sitting in a made up city bar by a window with a collection of people. I was dressed up, confident, glass of crisp, cool, white wine in hand. I remember taking a sip and then thinkingContinue reading “Day 188 – Alcohol Nightmares”

Day 173 – Happy New Year

I saw this on instagram this morning and thought it was perfect for anyone trying to really do something. I know I’ve been guilty of this. Starting something and then finding an excuse. Whether it be because I’m scared, nervous, my lack of self belief or a hundred other reasons. The things I’ve really wantedContinue reading “Day 173 – Happy New Year”

Day 137 – Yoga

I’ve set myself the challenge of doing yoga every day in November following Adrienne’s home series. I’m surprised how much I enjoy the sessions, how my hips feel better when running and how I can feel antsy until I’ve planned it into my day. Another completely unexpected benefit is the extra bonding time with myContinue reading “Day 137 – Yoga”

Day 133 – Lockdown Weekends

I’ve been really lucky this weekend to get out and meet an old university friend for a socially distanced stomp. It felt so refreshing seeing someone I hold so dear, catching up, sharing covid horror stories and discussing life. She’s been a friend since we met at university many many moons ago. One of theContinue reading “Day 133 – Lockdown Weekends”

Day 128 – Winner

I think the universe likes to play funny tricks on us. Just as my scheduled eating was working for me, life threw a curve ball. I’d won a competition for a Autumnal treat box. Inside was lots of yummy treats. This sent me into another anxiety driven spiral, until I managed to make a plan.Continue reading “Day 128 – Winner”

Day 126 – Standing on the Edge

Yesterday I took a day off social media to spend with family. I ended up being tested with my eating disorder, but hopefully it’s taught me an important lesson. The day started with a muddy 2.5 mile stomp with the SD over the fields by us. She jumped in puddles, ditches and we played poohContinue reading “Day 126 – Standing on the Edge”

Day 105 – Help

So I’ve got something to write about, but it makes me incredibly nervous and it feels very raw being open about it. I think when I started blogging about alcohol dependency/addiction, I felt the same way but I didn’t know anyone on here, so it was like sending my thoughts away to a faceless internet.Continue reading “Day 105 – Help”

Day 101 – If only I’d known…

Im beginning to understand, the way you respond to whats going on in the outside of you, is reflective of what’s going on within. My life was so much more chaotic and stressful 100 days ago. I was filled with guilt and self loathing and that fed through into my response with everything. Giving upContinue reading “Day 101 – If only I’d known…”

Day 100 – 100 days of Sobriety

It’s been clear for the last few years that alcohol had to go. I was either drinking (in the evenings when BB was in bed) or thinking about drinking, like literally obsessively (whilst BB was awake). I remember a tree falling down really close to my friend and I during a run. This was literallyContinue reading “Day 100 – 100 days of Sobriety”