Day 180 – Beauty

In these cold, snowy, sober days I’m still managing to find beauty in everything. I’m trying (and sometimes failing) to let go of stress around home schooling my SD, trying to study myself and parent my beautiful baby. I’ve found being sober, not sobering. I’m still laughing more, getting up early to do my yogaContinue reading “Day 180 – Beauty”

Day 173 – Happy New Year

I saw this on instagram this morning and thought it was perfect for anyone trying to really do something. I know I’ve been guilty of this. Starting something and then finding an excuse. Whether it be because I’m scared, nervous, my lack of self belief or a hundred other reasons. The things I’ve really wantedContinue reading “Day 173 – Happy New Year”

Day 161 – Labels

I’m starting to think more about labels, mainly the labels we put on ourselves. They can be positive like “clever, happy go lucky, hardworking” or negative “underachiever, overweight, bad friend”. Some of the positives can also become negatives to a person. For example “everyone thinks I’m the weird kid since I’m clever”. I was sittingContinue reading “Day 161 – Labels”

Day 160 – Baking Cookies

So yesterday we logged on to the class interactive teaching tool to see what lessons were planned for that day. The teacher had “kindly” said “have fun” and then left a list of fun activities for them to try. I read the list (watch a movie, bake cookies, have a dance party, get outside) andContinue reading “Day 160 – Baking Cookies”

Day 159 -Breaking the cycle

Normally when I start binging on food, that’s it. I’m in a destructive cycle for weeks, with it escalating each day. I end up bloated, with a sugar hangover and feeling utterly rubbish with myself. I managed to stop binging after 2 days, which is a record for me. I tried to put into practiceContinue reading “Day 159 -Breaking the cycle”

Day 155 – Binge Eating

I’m binge eating again and I feel so ashamed. I’m really struggling with moderation. I’m not making excuses but I think I’ve got a built in dodgy moderation switch. I’m all or nothing in most things in life, so why would food be any different. I was definitely all with alcohol and I’m now comfortableContinue reading “Day 155 – Binge Eating”

Day 150 – Oh Xmas Tree

So my SD is still at her mums, hopefully awaiting her covid test results. We have text a couple of times to ask her how she is, but so far those messages are being ignored. I hate not knowing that she’s ok and it’s even worse for her dad. I had loads of anxiety thisContinue reading “Day 150 – Oh Xmas Tree”

Day 144 – Thankful

The weather is cold, grey and lashing down with rain. The sort of rain that bites your skin, where the sting is still felt an hour after you get in. Today we walked in this weather, round some fields and a park to stay out of he house whilst the carpenter fitted a bannister. BBContinue reading “Day 144 – Thankful”

Day 133 – Lockdown Weekends

I’ve been really lucky this weekend to get out and meet an old university friend for a socially distanced stomp. It felt so refreshing seeing someone I hold so dear, catching up, sharing covid horror stories and discussing life. She’s been a friend since we met at university many many moons ago. One of theContinue reading “Day 133 – Lockdown Weekends”

Day 105 – Help

So I’ve got something to write about, but it makes me incredibly nervous and it feels very raw being open about it. I think when I started blogging about alcohol dependency/addiction, I felt the same way but I didn’t know anyone on here, so it was like sending my thoughts away to a faceless internet.Continue reading “Day 105 – Help”