Day 111 – Halloween

It’s definitely starting to feel like Halloween in this house. The decorations are up, the tempers are fraught, the kids are being terrors (and not even in costume yet) and we’re nervously waiting out to see whether we enter another national lockdown. I notice I definitely eat my feelings (thankfully I’m not a fan ofContinue reading “Day 111 – Halloween”

Day 108 – Remend

I feel a lot calmer now I’ve booked someone to talk to. He suggested keeping a food diary and mid scoff of some secret chocolate buttons around 5pm yesterday, I felt a bit embarrassed but then reminded myself that’s the whole point of it isnt it. Not to get embarrassed, but examine the problem andContinue reading “Day 108 – Remend”

Day 106 – thank you

Thank you all so much for yesterday. After pressing send on writing it, I cried my eyes out and then went for a waddle to get some fresh air. It certainly helped. I was blown away with everyones kindness and understanding. It’s the first time I’ve ever shared anything like this (well apart from myContinue reading “Day 106 – thank you”

Day 103 -Bloody Covid

Sorry I havent written for 2ish days. I’m just awaiting the results of a covid test and have been so stressed about it. I’ve only got a sore throat, (which is really sore), but my friend I’ve walked with earlier in the week has tested positive. Her only symptom was a sore throat, her husbandContinue reading “Day 103 -Bloody Covid”

Day 101 – If only I’d known…

Im beginning to understand, the way you respond to whats going on in the outside of you, is reflective of what’s going on within. My life was so much more chaotic and stressful 100 days ago. I was filled with guilt and self loathing and that fed through into my response with everything. Giving upContinue reading “Day 101 – If only I’d known…”

Day 99 – I’ve got 99 problems but alcohol isn’t one

Well any more that is. I literally can not believe tomorrow is day 100. I’ve been blogging for 93. It feels so surreal. At the start of the process I remember having a discussion with the lovely and wise Ainsobriety about getting rid of the alcohol in the house. I remember her suggesting it andContinue reading “Day 99 – I’ve got 99 problems but alcohol isn’t one”

Day 97- More National Trust

I literally went straight to bed after writing last night, with a handful of obligatory chocolates and my book. I curled up and slept like I was dead. A benefit of sobriety, I cant be more grateful for. We all woke up around 7 and the weird mood of yesterday was hanging on to myContinue reading “Day 97- More National Trust”

Day 96 –

I’ve never been tempted more than today to drink. The day in some respects has been lovely. BB and I went National Trusting with a friend. We both gazed in wonder at the colours of Autumn on a wood walk. She constantly reached up and tried to touch the leaves. We shared a lunch outsideContinue reading “Day 96 –”

Day 92 – My God Mum

I don’t know if I’ve ever told you. But I’ve seriously lucked out with my god mum. She is everything I’d love to be if I’m ever lucky enough to be given the role. My BB even knows her as Grandma Din (when I was little I couldn’t say Lynne so the name Din stuck).Continue reading “Day 92 – My God Mum”

Day 91 – HBD BB

Today is BB’s first birthday and we have celebrated with a Colin the Caterpillar cake. Like her mum, she adored her first taste of chocolate and here begins a beautiful love affair with the magic brown stuff. I can’t even describe the love I feel for my 1 year old daughter, it seems to beContinue reading “Day 91 – HBD BB”